WHAT I FOUND OUT ABOUT GOD.

I found something very intriguing with God. The fact that you waited for Him to get what you want doesn't mean He will give you what you. He gives you what He want.

Let me use my experience as an example. I waited on God for 6 years to get admission. I saw my admission the 7th year and I got a Polytechnic. I never wanted a Polytechnic, not even when I was desperate. But it dawned on me that that was what He wanted. I had to say YES or YES.

When I told the few people that I had admission. Their reaction was killing. I felt God made me small. So my testimony after all the wahala was a Polytechnic. I saw my admission letter in tears. They weren't tears of joy, they were tears of pain that stemed from my soul. I was angry and at the same time grateful.

So my question was, so even the Polytechnic could not consider me for those years I waited? I never failed Jamb

That night, I sat down in my room staring at the ceiling. I did not utter any word. I sincerely did not know how I felt.

I was numb. At that point, I knew it was only God that could comfort me. I remember calling John that night, and he was asking me why I was crying. I just knew he didn't understand. And I did not call anybody again. I just picked up the pieces that was left of my life and moved on. Just know one thing, I WAS ANGRY.

I left home for Ilorin that faithful Sunday morning and I got to Ibadan where I was going take a bus to Ilorin. Ha, my heart was weak. John was with me and I can't even remember what I was saying with him. I just knew I was talking. I'm just grateful that I did not burst into tears.

Anybody that hugged me that day would have been soaked with my tears. I left for Ilorin and the first day I got to my school gate, I looked at myself and I looked at the school. God is this what I deserve? And that was where my journey began.

The first two weeks of my admission, I cried myself to sleep. I was all alone. I was so burdened. I could not eat or do anything. I didn't know what to talk with. I talked with few people, but their words were doing nothing because they were saying stuffs I knew and have always heard. It was indeed a sad experience.

I started talking with God. God wasn't talking to me in words, He was talking to me through his actions. God has not given me answers to why a Polytechnic.

But then, I still wish there is an unfolding. I want to see beyond the now. I'm not sure of what to expect, but all I'm doing is just hold God by His words.

Till today, I've not still healed from it. Anytime I look at the school and I look at all that I envisaged for years, my heart still bleeds. I still have questions that lingers in heart.

I didn't go to church for weeks. I didn't make friends in school. I was on my own.

With all these that I've explained, does it mean that God didn't give me the best? Sure, He did. He answered my prayers, but He didn't answer my prayers according to my own specification. He answered it the way He wanted.

God doesn't give you what you want, but what you need. I'm grateful for this experience. I am human and sometimes I wish God did things my way, but His ways are not my ways.

Confirming to His will may not be the choicest decision, but it's going to be worthwhile at the end. The Bible records that His yoke is light.

I explained all these to make you understand that God may not answer your prayers the way you want. Just allow him write the story.

What I wanted was a scholarship to Oxford University, England. And everybody in my house would testify that I was always shouting Oxford University, but here I am, in a school far below my expectations.

I know God is just and I know that whatever He does is good.

Sometimes I get anxious. Sometimes I look at my future with a position of fear. Sometimes I cry myself to sleep. Sometimes I'm treated harshly and other unfortunate experiences, but I know that God is good.

I have good times. I smile. I laugh. I rejoice and in all these, God is good. I look forward to all that God will do to me and through me. This is a journey of faith and I choose to walk it over and over again. Indeed, God is good.

So, this is my story.

I hope it encourages anyone who feel God did not give you what you desired gan gan. He knows you're pained, but I encourage you to enjoy the ride. You definitely will smile in the end. God loves you and He's working everything out for your good.

I believe!

God doesn’t wear our wristwatch. If you can, wear His own wristwach and watch Him make something beautiful out of you.

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