Deflowering Somebody: The Emotional Journey Few People Talk About!

I was doing my usual morning scroll through Twitter, and I stumbled on a tweet made by Dickson. The tweet was prompted by a question asked by a particular guy.

Attached is the question.

The response to this tweet was sharp, straight to the point, and somehow spooky. It literally warned young guys about the “dangers of sleeping with a virgin.”

And the replies? I laughed so hard. From the response I got on Twitter, a lot of people feel that taking deflowering somebody is like walking into a shrine (you no fit waka free just like that).

So, let’s talk about it. Are there problems attached to deflowering somebody, or are people just overhyping the matter?

Please note that this write up is my personal opinion and perspective. You might not agree with me.

Emotional Attachment? My Guy, This One No Be Small Matter

Let me explain in a relatable way: when people talk about virginity, it’s never a joke. For some people, it’s beyond just breaking it; it involves their heart and soul, and sometimes even a tear is involved.

If you, as a person, deflower somebody and you think that you can just disappear, you might have to think twice.

Think about it in this way: Somebody has held something special for years; some might have carried it for a very long time, and they decided to hand it over to you. It means that they are putting a whole lot of trust in you. And then you, after "enjoyment," decide to just vanish?

My brother, my sister, emotional attachment go hook you like strong wi-fi. This one no be love wey you go use airplane mode avoid o!

One Twitter user said, “Take a virgin’s heart and run? Be ready for her to start appearing in your dreams at 3 a.m.” And, yes, it’s funny. But it’s also real.

For a lot of people, losing their virginity is serious business, so unless you're well prepared for some midnight calls and emotional baggage, you have to think twice.

Society's Wahala: The Silent Judges

You know how Nigerians can be so dramatic. The way we talk about virginity in this part of Africa, it's like a sacred cow that must not be touched by anybody except we can hear the wedding bells ringing.

If you collect and bounce, you might become the next gist in that person's circle, church, or even their family WhatsApp group.

You know how aunties will say, “Ah, so after all this love, he just went like that?!” Then next thing, you’re getting side-eyes and whispers whenever you pass by her neighborhood.

One Twitter guy in the comments said, “If you no get plans, leave virgins alone. Na serious matter.” Truer words, my people, truer words. Virginity isn’t something people forget easily, especially here in Nigeria.

The ‘First Cut is the Deepest’ Syndrome (Abi You No Know?)

Now let's add science and research to this discussion. Research has shown that people tend to form a stronger bond with their first partner. In other words, once you “cut” that line, don’t be surprised if you’re remembered for a long time.

Some Nigerians will even say, "The first time" hits harder than Amala with ewedu and gbegiri. After the first taste, the memory will always stick. So if you’re the kind of person that ghosts faster than NEPA light, just know that this “first cut” might follow you around like a village rumor.

If You’re Not Ready for Vex Messages, Think Twice!

Ah, this one is important. You know Nigerians and texting, abi?

Deflowering somebody is like opening a line of communication that might never end.

Are you really ready to receive 20 “hey, we need to talk” texts in one day? 
Are you prepared for random calls at ungodly hours?

If you’re the type that values your peace of mind, my advice? No try am!

Don't be too surprised if you start seeing, “Are you ignoring me?” and “So after everything we shared...” messages popping up on your phone.

Once that emotional bond is there, ghosting becomes harder than Lagos traffic.

Attachments are real, and unless you’re not ready to nurture them, don’t put yourself in that position. Simple.

This Is Not Pokémon: No Need to “Catch Them All”

I hear certain statements from some people saying that they are on a mission to deflower anyone that comes their way.

Sorry to break it to you, but this isn’t Pokémon, and there’s no trophy for “Virginity Collector of the Year.” It’s better to have good intentions, or even none at all, than to collect and leave someone with a broken heart.

My sincere advice: If you’re not serious about staying, don’t even think of deflowering anybody. These are not beans; people’s hearts are on the line. The emotional consequences might be more than you bargained for.

So if you’re looking for a “quick flex,” abeg, leave people’s innocence alone.

Final Word: If E No Serious, Abeg Rest

At the end of the day, everybody cannot handle the consequences of deflowering somebody. If you know that you’re not going to stay, if you know you don’t have plans, just respect yourself and find another route.

No matter how funny Twitter makes it sound, this is no joke. Virginity is not something you take and dash out. It comes with feelings, memories, and, for some, a lifetime commitment and attachment.

So unless you’re ready for the long haul, think well and choose peace.