The Weight of a Soft Heart

As a person, I have always been the type to avoid conflict, to step side any situation where people's feelings can be hurt or tampered with, even if it's my own.

Stepping on people's toes or leaving them upset because of whatever happened between us feels like a big weight pressing on my chest.

The truth is, my heart is very soft, maybe softer than most, and the smallest misunderstanding can leave it feeling bruised.

When disagreement comes up, I instinctively find myself apologizing, even when I know that I'm not wrong. Some people might feel that I'm trying to please people, but for me, it's more about keeping my heart at peace.

The issues that come with disagreements or fights feel heavier, and it's as if my soul will not find rest until I have settled with the person in question, then I can finally breathe again.

The truth is, being this way is not easy. There are certain times I apologize, and I go to my room or somewhere silent to cry. It's like I'm walking on eggshells and being too aware of people's reactions, hoping that nobody is vexed.

It can be exhausting, it feels like I'm carrying the emotional balance of my relationship in my hands, fearful of tipping it.

Occasionally, I find myself thinking through the conversation long after they are over, hoping I didn't say too much that might have gotten somebody to feel hurt, even though they never said something about it.

Many people tell me that I am too sensitive, and I care too much, but then, that’s just who I am.

I wish I could be tougher, to let things easily slide off my shoulders. I really envy those who can effortlessly walk through life, not burdened by what others think or feel. As much as I can, I just can't shake this part of myself away.

My heart aches for peace, not just for myself, but for the people around me. I feel the weight of their emotions, and it is very hard for me to settle if they are not settled, especially with my family.

There are times I get furious, and I say I’ll do one or two things, or make certain decisions, but the truth is, in few hours, I do not see the need to do what I promised to do. I just feel that this world will not last forever, and I truly want to be happy and be at peace.

But perhaps, I feel there's a strength in this softness, even if it is very fragile. My soft heart is part of who I am, and while it leaves me vulnerable, it also drives me to build bridges, seek peace, and more importantly, to show others how much I value them.

It is not an easy route, but maybe, just maybe, the world needs a heart like mine. Hearts that feel deeply, that bend instead of break, and that never give up on people, even if it comes at a personal cost.

In the end, I’m learning to embrace this part of me, fragile though it may be. My heart’s softness is its kind of resilience, a reminder that in a world where hard hearts often leave others broken, a soft heart can be a place of healing.

If my heart feels bruised from time to time, maybe that's just the price that comes with loving openly.

I’m learning that it is okay to be tenderhearted, even if it means I’ll have to carry more weights because in the end, I’d rather be someone who cares too much than too little.