The Things We Do For Love

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Love will humble you! One minute you’re forming hard guy, hard guy, and the next, you’re standing in the hot sun, sweating like a Christmas goat, just to buy shawarma for "the love of your life."

Who sent you message?

This love thing will turn you to an errand boy or girl real quick. You’ll find yourself doing things you swore on your village shrine you’d never do.

You, that once declared, “I have boundaries,” will start moving the goalpost for love.

Remember how you said, “I will never have sex till marriage?” Fast forward a few months into this relationship, and you’re now practicing missionary for the Lord.

You’ll be consoling yourself with, “It’s because we’re in love,” while Holy Spirit is side-eyeing you like, “Is that what we discussed during your quiet time?”

Love will even have you spending anyhow. Imagine a broke guy borrowing money just to buy iPhone for a babe who won’t even pick his calls when the screen cracks.

Or that babe that will use her entire salary to buy PS5 for her man because he mentioned it in passing. And when her account balance is showing red, she’ll be whispering to herself, “Love is sacrifice.”

Sis, who send you work?😂😂😂

The tears are another level. Love will have you crying over things that don’t make sense.

Imagine reading “Goodnight, dear” and concluding that they don’t love you anymore because they didn’t add “Love you.”

Or the day you prepared egusi soup, and your partner casually says, “It’s nice, but my mum’s own is better.” Omo, next thing, you’re in the bathroom crying like you just lost a political election.

And after all the tears, you’ll still come out and be like, “It’s okay, baby, I understand.” Understand what?😂😂😂

Let’s not forget the craving for touch and attention. God forbid they don’t call you for one day. You’ll be pacing up and down like NEPA just seized your light, asking yourself, “What did I do wrong?”

You’ll be pressing your phone every five seconds to check if the message delivered. And when it doesn’t, you’ll send, “Hey babe, just checking on you,” like you’re running customer service for MTN.

Compromises? Forget it.

Love will make you do overnight shifts in the madness department. Imagine a Lagos babe who hates public transport, entering danfo and holding her wig in place because her boyfriend is stranded in Lekki and needs her.

Or the guy who hates amala but finds himself at White House in Yaba, eating gbegiri like his life depends on it, just to impress his babe. Meanwhile, he’s struggling to swallow, asking himself, “Is this really love?”

And your body? Betrayer of the highest order! You’ll tell yourself, “I’m not touching them today. We’ll just talk and watch Netflix.”

Fast forward two hours, and Netflix is asking, “Are you still watching?” but you’re busy doing warm-up for things your pastor warned you about during premarital counseling.

Love will humble you when you’re the one saying, “Just this once, it won’t happen again.”

Spoiler alert: it will happen again.

Then there’s the tribal wahala. You’re Yoruba, and she’s Igbo, but you’re ready to scatter family meetings because, “I cannot do without Chiamaka, she’s my oxygen!”

Even your mother’s subtle threats can’t stop you, but you’ll still be begging her on WhatsApp: “Mummy, please, help me talk to daddy, she’s my heartbeat.”

And the mumu button? Once they call you “My heart,” you’re finished. They’ll offend you, and you’ll still be the one saying sorry.

How?

They’ll ghost you for three days, and once they reappear with “I missed you,” you’ll reply, “I missed you too.” Missed fire!

Love will turn you into a motivational speaker, convincing yourself it’s normal to be treated anyhow because, “Love is patient, love is kind.”

Sis/Bro, love is not stupid o!

But we can’t even help ourselves. Whether it’s crying over small things, craving validation, giving up our values, or becoming someone we swore we’d never be, love will always bring out our inner clown.

And truth be told, na who never fall mumu for love go dey shout, “It can never be me.” My dear, it will be you too. Just wait.