PART OF MY GROWING UP!

I shared something on my WhatsApp status and I’ve decided to share it here.

I begin...

I think I should write about how I slapped and beat up a guy in JSS3. Funny enough, I can’t even remember the guy’s name or his face, but I know I treated his fuck up. Interestingly, I can’t remember what led to that incident. I wish I remembered.

Thank God for Jesus, I don't fight again, but don't look for my trouble because Jesus will fight for me.

The slap I gave the guy was very hot. I was very wild and stubborn, but I've changed, but there's this part of me that can be still be adamant. If I won't do something, I won't do it. I hope that guy has forgiven me.

I was in secondary school, and I just hated the fact that guys beat up girls for no tangible reason and I was willing to deal with any guy that tried to beat me. They even raped girls at will then.

There was an incident in school. 6 guys raped one girl. I don't know how that girl survived and did not die. When I remember that incident, a part of me still feels that I should have dealt with more guys. I should have showed them that not all girls can be trampled upon.

That guy was my scape goat!

Some people were scared of me in school because I looked like a guy and I was always frowning. I wasn’t big in size. I was very tiny, but don’t try me. I may not win, but you won’t go scot free. At some point, I was even a terror at home.

Admist my stubbornness, I was very brilliant. I had connections with teachers. I was very smart as a child because I read a lot.

I think my intention in school was to show guys that not all girls are weak. Even if everybody is, it is not ADENIYI ADEFUNKE!

At those points, I had this secret hatred for them. The thing I don't understand is why I behave like those people I hate. I love guys now. But my hatred for them then was very deep.

The truth is, I was nursing this pain that I could not share and I felt every guy then deserves whatever I unleash on them. Thank God I did not beat more than one guy, but I showed some people pepper.

I showed them what a man can do, a woman can do better. Presently, I'm trying to unleash that in the tech space.

Till now, I still hate it when a guy beats a lady. There's still this part of me that wants to beat guys for ladies sake. Then, I would have considered it for a living, but Jesus has arrested me forever. The best I can do now is talk to them, but there's this part of me that wants to give that guy a very hot resetting slap.

Slap that changes, but I've got to understand that it's only Jesus that changes a man. It's only Jesus that mends shattered people.

I'm happy I'm no longer a terror.

Maybe that’s why I didn’t consider a relationship for a very long time. I was very rigid. My walls were very high. I don’t know if I had standards then, but all the guys that came weren’t in my class of guys. It’s funny.

Am I ready for a relationship? Sincerely, I don't know. And most of the time I don't think about it. And I'm not under any pressure to have one.

To all the guys I've dealt with in one way or the other, I hope you forgive me. To all the guys that maltreated me, I forgive you.

To everyone who has given up on me and said that I can never fall in love, I pray the Lord open your eyes to see that a part of me wants to love and be loved.

To those that have fallen in love or lust with me and I denied you a chance, I hope you've found love?

To those that will come and I'll say NO to, I pray you find strength.

To my hubby, cheers to forever!