MY VOW!

Looking through the window, lost in thoughts, and thinking my head through. Tears welled up in my eyes and trying not to make it fall so that I’m not seen as a weak person. Asking for help feels like I’m the weakest person that ever lived.

Oh, how I love to be self-sufficient. I love to get things figured out myself. I love to know that I’m in control, but life has thrown hard stones at me that makes me fall on the beck and call of others. In the long run, when I choose to stay quiet, I’m seen as proud.

I have to hide because I must not be seen the way I am. It’s not their fault. It’s mine, because to a large extent, I have to be dependent.

Every attempt to make a call, and the same story is, I need help. How awful it sounds. And the funny response is, you are not my responsibility.

Well, I understand that the society has made me understand that nobody truly owes me anything, not even the people I love and care for. And truly, I’ve come to accept that I’m nobody’s responsibility. Nobody owes me a dime, and that’s why I’ll work so hard for the generation coming after me, so that they don’t suffer.

Maami will say that, “It’s kin se omi one".

Every call makes me feel I’m lazy. And every day, I think my head out. And each and every day, the question of how to make more money hits my head so hard.
The words of people pierces through my heart, leaving wounds that cannot be touched.

Each day, I look out, and I always hope that one day I become that person I’ve always wanted to be.

I look forward to then, when I’ll be able to stand in for people who need help without watering them down. I will stand up to be responsible for people that are not my family.

I will stand to help young girls who cannot afford basic things that I lacked, and have refused to give their body cheaply to guys.

I will be a sister to every sister out there. I will share in their pain. I will share in their struggles. I will partake in their afflictions. I will be glad to lift those burdens off their shoulders. My shoulders will be padded enough to absorb their tears.

I will go through every insult I have to on their behalf. If I have to beg through it, I will because I wouldn’t want them to go through the pain I am going through now. I may not be able to reach everyone, but I will go as far as God grants me strength.

I will travail in prayers for them. I will love them like I ought to have been loved. I will tell them that they can go as far as they can imagine. I will show them my scars, marks on my wounds, and the signs of my jagged heart.

These may look like mere words, but they are not. They are hope for the future. I definitely will come back to read this. I will read it to those girls and boys. This is a vow to my generation. I will stand in for them.

I will glory in my pain and afflictions. I will find strength in His strength. I will fight till I win because in the real sense, IT IS NOT ABOUT NOW, BUT ABOUT THEN.

Every effort, labour, sweat, struggle, and pain will be worth it in the end.

To as many out there who seem to struggle through life, this is to tell you that you’re not alone. I’m there and we are very plenty. Endure the pain and suffering because a generation awaits you. Make it a vow to stand till you succeed.

This is my vow. They may not be coated with sweet words, but they are words that stems from my heart, and it’s a promise to a generation.

Once again, it’s not about now, but about then. Until "then" comes, I will keep running the race that is set before me diligently, and I advise that you do the same too.

To as many who have to go through some messy situations and words to get help, I pray you find strength when nothing seem to show forth. I pray you don’t lose faith, and give up on your dreams.

P. S- I know you can see the picture above. My white sneakers glittering, my well packed hair, and my beautiful gown. You might even be thinking that I’m a rich babe. Nigerians will say, everything na packaging. We package everything including the wounds. It’s funny how I dress so well, but when I pull them off and I am behind the scene, the real me appear and I’m faced with my reality, but regardless, I mouveee...