Fighting Through 25!

As I approach 26, I find myself reflecting on the year that’s about to pass. The year I spent at 25. And if I’m being honest, it hasn’t been easy.

Year 25 felt like a constant struggle, filled with challenges I didn’t expect. From emotional battles to physical pain, and from financial strain to the relentless pressure of school, I have weathered storms I wasn’t sure I could survive. But here I am, on the edge of a new chapter, looking back with both gratitude and exhaustion.

This year, I felt more than just the weight of my goals and ambitions. I felt the weight of my own uncertainty. I struggled with loneliness, with a deep void that no amount of work or distraction seemed to fill. It was a loneliness I couldn’t explain to anyone, even when I was surrounded by people. It was the kind of solitude that ate at me from the inside, leaving me questioning my worth and my place in the world.

There were nights when I cried for what felt like hours. I cried because I didn’t know what I wanted from life. I cried because nothing made sense, and I didn’t know which direction I was supposed to take. At times, I didn’t even know if I wanted to keep fighting or if it would ever get better.

The pressure of school, my career, my future, it all felt like it was closing in on me, and I was struggling just to breathe. It felt like I was running in circles, never making progress, and never finding peace.

School was exhausting. The assignments, the deadlines, the constant feeling that I wasn’t doing enough, it drained me. I fought against my own self-doubt every day, wondering if I was even capable of succeeding.

The pressure was heavy, and there were moments when I thought about giving up entirely. And then, there was the financial strain, the uncertainty that followed me like a shadow. I felt like I was sinking, like I could never climb out of the hole I was in.

And then, there were the surgeries. I had 2 surgeries this year; Fibroadenoma and Acute Appendicitis. Physically, I was forced to slow down, but emotionally and mentally, I was shaken in ways I didn’t expect. I literally felt that I was going to die, but by God’s grace, I am still here.

In those moments at the hospital, when I was scared and alone, my family stood by me. Mummy, Olamide, and Joy were right there by my side, offering comfort and love when I needed it most. My sisters and my brother stayed with me over the call, praying over me and encouraging me to hold on. Their presence reminded me that no matter how dark things seemed, I was never truly alone.

This year wasn’t just about struggle, though. It was also a year of progress. In my career, I made strides. I bought new gadgets, explored new opportunities, and tried new things. There were moments of accomplishment, where I saw the fruits of my hard work, and it gave me hope. But those moments were often clouded by the deeper, quieter struggles within me.

I messed up. I fucked up. I compromised on my values in ways I never thought I would. The weight of it all was overwhelming, and I often felt like I was losing myself in the process.

I felt too much this year. I felt the pain, the emptiness, the exhaustion. I felt like I couldn’t keep going, like the weight of everything was going to crush me. But through it all, I’m grateful. Grateful for the family who held me up when I couldn’t stand on my own. Grateful for the lessons learned, even in the toughest of times. Grateful for the grace that kept me alive and moving forward, even when I felt like giving up.

And as I stand on the brink of 26, I can’t deny that I am deeply grateful for the lessons I’ve learned, for the love and support of my family and friends, for the strength that has carried me through.

But I’m also exhausted. Exhausted from the emotional weight I’ve carried, from the struggles that have drained me. Exhausted from feeling too much, from constantly fighting battles I wasn’t sure I could win. But I’ve made it this far. And even though I feel worn out, I know that this journey isn’t over.

Year 25 was tough, but it was also full of growth, resilience, and grace. It tested me, but it also shaped me. And as I look ahead to Year 26, I’m ready. Ready to keep fighting. Ready to fill the void with purpose. Ready to embrace the unknown. Because I’ve already made it this far, and I trust that the best is yet to come.

But, honestly, I’m exhausted.🥹